…and renew a right spirit within me. That’s the part that hit me earlier today. After a series of little setbacks and misunderstandings, I allowed my mood to deteriorate to the point that I felt somewhat hopeless. No matter what I did, it was wrong so why do anything? Just let me escape. But there’s nowhere to escape to. And really… a couple of set backs and suddenly “everything I do is wrong� Really, Elizabeth?
It’s an annoying rabbit hole I tend to go down and coming out isn’t always easy. Taking a second (or two or ten) to consider my blessings and praying for God to renew a right spirit within me, I believe, will help, but I fight even that. It’s like part of me knows what I need to do to get out, but another part of me just doesn’t want to fool with it. Just leave me alone and let me stay here and wallow in my self-pity. But I don’t wanna. So I’m not gonna. And, oh yeah, I won’t do it on my own. I can’t do it on my own, so I will take some time to think about the ways in which I’m blessed and I will pray for God to renew a right spirit within me. Amen and Amen.